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Stephanie Eisler Vance
Stephanie Eisler Vance

Home

Mar 28

Under Construction

I sleep with the windows open. I welcome the night air as it fills my bedroom, and on the mornings I am lucky enough to rise early, I get to hear my city come to life. On the mornings I am not so lucky, my alarm clock is the rattling…

Spoken Word

2 min read

Under Construction
Under Construction

Jan 3

Safe Space

When I first moved to Brooklyn, I barely registered that my home was near a park. See, this park was more concrete than green, and most of that green was turf. This park was long and narrow, and flanked by tall municipal buildings that just look like they’re about to…

Spoken Word

4 min read

Safe Space
Safe Space

Dec 8, 2021

For the Girls Who Cannot See Themselves

I hold in my hands a mirror. I hold it up to you, but you wince and look away. Or, you find, with lightning speed, the needle in the haystack that won’t stop pricking you, and calling you ugly, fat, unworthy. Your eyes find the needle immediately, but they are…

Spoken Word

2 min read

For the Girls Who Cannot See Themselves
For the Girls Who Cannot See Themselves

Oct 26, 2021

Ode to Fiona

The boys thought they knew what she meant: “I’ve been a bad, bad girl.” The boys only wanted to watch the music video — knee high socks, cotton briefs, heroin chic. They thought it was about sex. At thirteen, I saw it was about loneliness. The only girl in the…

Poetry

2 min read

Ode to Fiona
Ode to Fiona

Published in Human Parts

·Sep 22, 2021

When I Say I Do Not Want Children

There is a gulf between my head, heart, and body that it is not possible to close — This piece was first performed on September 16, 2021 at Parkside Lounge in New York City. It is dedicated to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, five members of the U.S. Supreme Court, and the 87th Legislature of the state of Texas. My body wants to bear…

Spoken Word

4 min read

When I Say I Do Not Want Children
When I Say I Do Not Want Children

May 14, 2021

Father-Daughter Recursion Trap

There’s no firm protocol for handling a relationship with a wayward parent. I’ve often wished there was, that in certain situations I could have looked at some flowchart optimized for a healthy father-daughter relationship — or at least peaceful coexistence — that would tell me what to do. I could…

Memoir

13 min read

Father-Daughter Recursion Trap
Father-Daughter Recursion Trap

Published in Be Yourself

·Mar 12, 2020

How to Survive Social Distancing

About a month ago, I shared a story about my recent bout with mania. It screwed up my life a whole lot! Since then, I’ve been slowly picking up the pieces — in my life and my brain. My workload shrank by about forty percent. I pulled out of an…

Pandemic

4 min read

How to Survive Social Distancing
How to Survive Social Distancing

Published in Invisible Illness

·Feb 14, 2020

On the Last Episode…

Let’s talk about mania, people! I was in it not too long ago. Someone once described my writing as “uncommonly honest,” so here we go, folks, an uncommonly honest conversation about my bipolar disorder. Until January, I hadn’t had an episode in nearly ten (ten!) years. This was a big…

Mental Health

4 min read

On the Last Episode…
On the Last Episode…

Published in Invisible Illness

·Jan 22, 2019

Emotional Physics

The settling. The re-settling, letting nerves and bones and skin fall back into place. The watching. Resisting the urge to punish or force unnatural shapes at uncommon speed. It’s not waiting, this return to center, but to mistake it for waiting is easy. And the desire for easy is palpable…

Mental Health

2 min read

Emotional Physics
Emotional Physics

Oct 8, 2018

The Long Haul: Kavanaugh, Women’s Voices, and The System Itself

The protest started at 5pm on Thursday. By the time I got there at 5:05, a small group had begun to gather — chanting and holding signs in the air that read, “Kava-NOPE!” or “Believe Survivors,” or, my personal favorite, “I thought Republicans were anti-entitlement.” The police had set up…

Politics

8 min read

The Long Haul: Kavanaugh, Women’s Voices, and The System Itself
The Long Haul: Kavanaugh, Women’s Voices, and The System Itself
Stephanie Eisler Vance

Stephanie Eisler Vance

Writing on modern madness, within and without. stephanieeislervance.com IG: stephmakesfaces

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