Eyes from across the subway car
This is too cliché to be happening
But it happens, right?
Two people under fluorescent light
Love, or something, at first sight
Anything’s possible, right?
Possibility is the only word I know
The tip of my tongue heavy with so much of the same thing
I can’t even open my mouth
To meet the eyes reaching for mine across this subway car
Hunger pangs, competing survival instincts
14th Street comes, I’m gone
Wondering if I just did a whole thing all by myself
See, my missed chances never existed in the first place
I am sure I have fallen victim again to my own imagination,
These machinations boring a tunnel of love
Into which I will fall, out of which I cannot climb
With this repetition, this recursion I bore myself
Can see their glassy eyes roll back
god, not this again
I know, dude, I’m not happy about it either
Sheer bad luck to be cursed with these sensitivities
These proclivities to magnify molehills
Enhance a glance until it’s just blurred pixels
Or squeeze it down until it fits inside my cheek
So I can suck on it every time a craving kicks in
I am cursed with an affliction such that, love?
I know her, I get down with her, but do I actually enjoy her?
Is the only thing I’ve ever wanted the only thing I can’t stand?
Who cares about compatibility, love is incompatible with me.
So I savor these fictions
There is safety in the lie
In these maybe-not-even-missed connections
In the breaking of my own heart
But a curse is also a gift, a vision
